meetup with Kellin at Kovan yesterday. had our dinner at KOBAYASHI.

Start talking about secondary school times. We took another route to take bus, the one behind our school. MEMORIES flooding around the whole area. whichever way we go, there are bits and pieces of memories. the FIELD, the CARPARK, the CC, the shelter, the void deck, the school gate, the Church, the basketball court, the MaMa shop. Having breakfast under the blk before heading for school, 2.4km run, quarreling with him, watching them playing basketball, playing catching in the church, helping out in the church office, everyone in the office recognized us, spent my days with him at the church&bball court.

But now, everything became part of our memories. no more running around, no more basketball court, no more watching, no more walking on that route to tke bus. no more teachers for us to see when we go back there. NOMORE.

Had a mixture of feelings. Sad, Happy, Envious, Hatred. as i walked, i had difficulty in breathing. flashbacks are painful. wanted to walk away, but mylegs continued to walk.

Today, dad asked me to packed up everything in my wardrobe as he wanted to fix it. he took a look den said : "cannot fix liao, hopeless ler."

I was like ohno. then he took the newspaper and check whether is there sales going around. Soon enough, he asked us to get change. It's raining heavily outside, and we took our umbrella and head out. intheEND, we bought 2 slide door wardrobe. then he is going to change the position of my bed. he said it's not good to sleep behind the 神台 and he wants me to grow up. what does he grow up means? get taller or is he saying that i'm childish?

had to arrange my stuff properly because it's all around the hse. lols. too many things in my cupboard. threw away alot of things. things that i don bear to throw previously. I still kept letters and photographs, mostly from my friends - Kellin and ShiHui. tons of them. and i found something which was meant to be thrown away long time ago. me&him neocard and a necklace he made for me. i tot i threw it away with the letters long ago, but i still...... Nevertheless, i destroyed it and threw it away. =) no more 不舍得。cas i no longer needs you. =D. NOLONGER.

All i need now is TVXQ!. they are the one for me. iLOVEthem like i used to loveyou. =) iguess I nolonger can love anyone else.

it's too painful to love.

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